RSSWomen As Clients
April 27, 2009
The way the guys move you from the information delivery to the buy decision is by scaring you. Or at least making you uncomfortable about something you don’t know or don’t have that they’ve persuaded you that you need. Or they bulldoze you with their experience and self-confidence, neither of which necessarily translates to ability.
Women are somehow convinced that there are these really smart white guys in business offices out there who know the future. Actually, the really smart white guys are the ones who f.cked the whole thing up so royally. They were doing 1 + 1 = -4, or 5, or 3,000,000. or something. Didn’t the woman who noticed get herself fired for her brains? Maybe it’s just as well the whole thing crashed when it did. Unsustainable flow dynamics are doomed. It’s a wonder it didn’t take more of us with it.
You know what’s going to happen. You know the guy thing – if it’s his idea, it’s a great idea. Otherwise, it sucks out loud. Then the idea migrates around the back of his head, crawls in the trap door, and he bleats it out his own mouth. In a year, he’ll say it was his idea. In 10 years, the men will say they knew it was coming all along and tried to tell the rest of us but we wouldn’t listen.
Women want to think that guys get money. It’s so much easier to transfer all the financial diagnostics and authorities to them. Men have dominated money for so long that women are used to it. If something goes wrong, women don’t have to take any blame, which they abhor anyway. So it all works out for everyone.
If you, as a woman, speak to women clients in language they understand, they think you know nothing. Talk over their heads and they think you’re a genius. I see this in medicine all the time. The guy either rambles off a pile of jargon or as much as says “Leave it to me, little lady. I’ll take care of everything” and the women are sold. They gaze up at the doctor, (the doctor expects no less), they haven’t a foggy what the guy is talking about, but who cares? He’s taking care of it. He said he was, it must be so. I can do that too but my conscience doesn’t feel good.
Whether in medicine or in stock predictions, there exists a high degree of day-to-day uncertainty in the simplest, most seemingly mundane decisions. Women express this with more honesty. Clients don’t want to hear it, or they misinterpret it. They hear “it could be this or it could be that” as vague and lacking in knowledge, when it is quite the contrary. Thoughtful uncertainty is reality. The idea that Symptom Y + Symptom Z = Disease X is false. It will lead to shortcuts in thinking that will cause regret.
The fact is that there are no really smart people anywhere who know more than you do. You get it, or easily could, if it were explained in a language you speak. Every industry has created some secret little language to describe secret operations they carry out in rooms decorated to look important. You are not dumber than anyone and nobody is any smarter than you. Never let anyone think for you, even if it seems easier. Your decision-making ability might be less informed but given the facts, it is not less astute, especially where the future is concerned. Nobody has a clue about that.
So how does a woman sell to women in a way she feels is ethical?
You don’t want to be so good at selling that you’re bringing in people who aren’t ready to buy or people who aren’t ready for you.
If you over-empower women with information, they figure they don’t need you.
Putting yourself on sale doesn’t work for women or men. They expect cheap work for cheap money. Undervalue yourself and you’re screwed.
Do you take on male behaviors? Certainly, releasing disempowering female behaviors is essential. The one single thing the guys have over us is self-esteem. There’s something to be said for believing you’re special and that nothing is ever your fault. After all, we are what we say we are.
Do you publicize your exclusivity? Do you make yourself a little unavailable? Actually, I think that does work. The best way to get noticed is to walk the other way. Those who follow really want you.
Take a moment to contemplate, if you will, the difference between rejection and selection.
Comments
4 Responses to “Women As Clients”
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Hmmm… find this a bit disappointing, Christine. Not all white males are any certain way and in my marriage, I’m certainly the numbers and money person not him! I love your stuff on makeup, color and fashion but not this. Sorry, but I’m an individual, my husband, brothers, sons, cousins (all white males) and all other humans are individuals. You can’t truthfully stereotype any group. And those ‘horrible’ white males have contributed an astounding array of inventions and medical breakthroughs that benefit us all. Women have, too, but, of course, but the point is, I don’t see articles putting down any of the groups designated as protected from criticism by the elite politically-correct speech police. Christine, you asked for commentary; I am an honest person so I’m speaking out here. I will still read your blogs but have to be myself!
Thanks for listening,
Glenda
Hey, Glenda,
I LOVE this comment. It has a great balancing effect. And I’d much rather someone step forward and tell me what they REALLY think, since it’s closer to my own style.
You are absolutely right. I also have a husband/father/brother that could be stereotyped as “white guys”, and they and their demographic have worked to create a world of ease and prosperity for the rest of us.
So what was I trying to say? I think it comes down to this : Can you get ahead by telling the truth? Can a corporation? Can a government?
It seems to me that Marketing 101 goes like this:
1. Create threat using pre-existing condition or invent a new one.
2. Create fear of threat.
3. Manipulate fear of threat into purchase.
4. Classify, conceal, and confuse production data.
And so we have:
1. The horrifying and bewildering insanity that is the food industry.
2. The unscrupulous disgrace that is the cosmetics industry.
3. The somewhat underhanded race for our money that is the pharmaceutical industry.
4. And that’s before we talk about government or any other big bureaucracy.
They whack at us with data. We lose our ability to think critically – that being the ability to figure out what it probably right and what is probably wrong. They feed it to us on the news by someone with an honest face (and you are so right again, because Katie Couric is not a man!). Amongst themselves, they use terms like “market penetration” , some sort of euphemism for “we have 6 months to sell them all we can of this stuff before some of them come to their senses and the rest discover that our claims were exaggerated”. But who are these “they” players in this drama?
Do I sound terribly jaded? I would love to think that I am. I would really like to believe that banks and big industry are telling us the truth. Now, of course, everyone’s truth is different and that’s expected. And I do believe that the man’s interpretation of winning at business and success in life are quite different from a woman’s (and that includes my husband/father/brother), but may be changing for both the men and the women.
But greed has deeply superseded honesty, good sense, foresight, integrity, and personal responsibility. When an idea has to be sold to you with falsified data, huge perks, or confused statistics, how good of an idea is it?
Maybe I still haven’t nailed my thought down here. Is the question really “Can you get ahead by telling the truth?” or “Will a consumer who IS told the truth make the best choice?”
And, of course, that women should never trust that men have better judgement on any topic just because they’re men.
I was really pleased to hear back from you, Christine ~ I don’t often get responses when I’m honest. Kudos for being open and objective! See, I found you through Paula Begoun’s newsletter and I do love her ethics and her products! I buy them regularly and use them twice daily. And, she has never once done the type things you have listed. Has she gone under financially from lack of devious practices or from telling the honest truth about beauty products? Absolutely not! She just keeps on growing and selling, right? So, that answers your question, only it’s just one example!
Which leads me to wonder if you’ve noticed all the female stars who advertise certain products, looking absolutely PERFECT in the ads? Do you think that they are actually wearing the hair color or makeup form the discount store? I’ve read in several places that they may not even be familiar with the product they are endorsing? Who holds them accountable? No one! It’s up to us to investigate. Being aware of it is the first step ~ kudos to Paula again! Do you think those stars that are telling us those things feel badly about deceiving the public? Does it bother their conscience on whit to be able to wear designer and have every imaginable luxury with money made off the poor dummies who believe those ads? I think not. But wait! these are not white males!
I’m not sure there ever has been or ever will be a cure for false advertising and/or misrepresenting any product or service that people may or may not need. To do so would totally destroy the free market system and we know how the communist countries fared under those type regimes!
I believe in freedom! Period! But freedom is inherently risky because it rests on personal responsibility! Not just in one area, but every area of life! I don’t want safety at the risk of freedom; so what we have to do as individuals is obtain knowledge and us our power of choice to weed out the dishonest practices. If you keep lying and people are buying under that influence won’t they eventually figure it out? But if you tell the truth and are honest about everything, won’t the people who need the products not only buy more, but tell their friends and family? I do! I tell everyone about Paula’s modus operandi and her products.
I don’t believe that everyone’s truth is different ~ truth is truth and you can’t change it. So, our worldview differs there. Nor do I believe the difference is in male/female comparison! The difference is character or the lack thereof! It is your worldview: how you perceive what’s available in light of what you think you deserve. For those who don’t feel entitled, their view is to work and make an honest profit. Those who believe they are entitled will not use the free market system at all but complain and try to guilt someone else in taking responsibility for them. Then there are those who believe they are elite, superior, exempt somehow from operating with integrity; they believe that they know better than the people what they need and how they should live their lives. They think the regular people are idiots and deserve to be manipulated. We can combat that, of course, through knowledge, research, being savvy shoppers in the market of life.
As to trusting men because they are men, you should never trust anyone on that basis, man or woman, except maybe the few people nearest you with your best interests at heart. As for me I don’t trust anyone ever when what they say and the facts of how they live don’t mesh. The first time I ever heard Bill Clinton speak, he said he related to the common people because he was also poor. POOR? An OXFORD education in Europe = poor? Ludicrous! I never trusted him after that; facts don’t lie! That’s just an example, but the elite will say whatever it takes to sell you ~ on a product, an idea, a philosophy.
I have loved this discussion; I am glad that you wrote the post and that you questioned! Maybe it has spurred your readers to investigate any claims made before swallowing the bait! YESS!!
Glenda,
Paula’s Choice is probably the best example that comes to mind of great transparency in a business. As soon as a business becomes even slightly opaque or resists questions, I become immediately suspicious. It’s unfortunate to have to live in such a climate of mistrust where advertising is concerned, but the corporations have dug their own graves and it’s the only way consumers can protect themselves. Who was it (Buddha?) who said something to the effect of “Never trust anything you hear or read or see, not even he himself, if it doesn’t agree with your own common sense”.
Thank you for taking part in the conversation. I’ve enjoyed it as well.