Comments on: When Anger Is The Easiest Way

By: Christine Scaman

Christine Scaman — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 21:48:30 +0000

You and me both, Holly. I’ve left behind the huge anger of those 2 bad years, but day to day still gets away from me. And I also direct much of my anger at my husband. If only I could stay home more, I’d be happier… If only he’d support my dreams like I supported his, I’d he happier… Then, it becomes a stalemate. It can go for days. Not pretty.
Your daughter and I – I see a lot of similarity sometimes. That same ruthlessness with people’s emotions if our cage gets rattled. I’ve been fortunate that life sent me friends who taught me to think of the feelings of others before I choose my words or actions.
I’m in a cynical time right now, maybe you can tell, so I really am trying to keep it together. You’re completely right, it is a process.

By: Holly Grasse

Holly Grasse — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 01:05:40 +0000

Hi
Excellent posting. i struggle with anger all the time and now I see my daughter struggling with it. I know I need to change the dynamics and quick. However, I do feel I can talk to her about her anger after her blow up, much more than I remember talking about my anger when I was younger. (Tell me that means something)

I find I use my husband as a reason to be angry but it is like you wrote, the anger is just wanting an excuse to be release. I am trying to be more aware, making mental notes, controlling it. It is a process but I do think I have discovered a few insights.
THanks for this.

By: Christine Scaman

Christine Scaman — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 16:25:03 +0000

Hi, everyone,

I’ve learned, somewhat accidentally, that writing is a way of releasing. In the beginning, it just forces you to decide what you think about something because it’s surprisingly hard to put in writing a belief that is not genuine to you (just as Janice says).

Through the process, you gain a little distance and some objectivity, and those help as well. I remember the 2 years of feeling that anger but I really couldn’t conjure it today if I had to. It’s left me with a peace and an outlook that I couldn’t have reached any other way. It helped me define my borders very clearly.

Thank you all for the comments.

By: Debbie

Debbie — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 10:04:41 +0000

WOW–thank you for sharing. A real eye-opener.

By: Janice

Janice — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 07:12:15 +0000

Very well written and on target! When you reach an age when you realize that you have more years behind you then ahead of you, all of these issues and points and principles don’t seem to hold the same weight as they did once upon a time. So many people tell me they can’t let go of their anger. I ask them to write down what they are angry about…put the paper in a box…throw the box away and feel the lift of not carrying around all that extra baggage. None of us are promised tomorrow so make sure today is the way you’d spend your last day with your loved ones…identify what matters and who matters and the rest falls into place. Thanks for all you do for all of us!

“we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.”

By: Cathy Holman

Cathy Holman — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 03:00:03 +0000

Thank you for writting on such an honest level. I was also sngry for many years, it only hurt myself. One day it came to me that it only hurt me. So I let it go. No I haven’t forgiven them, I let it go. They will no longer comtrol my life. But I needed to think about it for a long time and understand that they can only do that as long as I let them. A long hard lesson to learn, but I did learn it.

By: karen

karen — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 02:16:05 +0000

Wonderful and courageous… I’m so glad you outgrew your anger…so you could bless us all with your insights…

By: Mary Ann

Mary Ann — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 21:55:54 +0000

Fabulous, brave post.