RSSWHAT DOES MONEY MEAN TO YOU?
February 5, 2008
Is it freedom? The devil? A flowing energy that we can control? A device for personal growth? Is it power, peace or strength? Do you think it’s inherently bad or good?
Money, lots of it.
Do you apologize for wanting it? Do you share your parents’ beliefs that it is selfish to have more than your share? Or that it must be earned by hard, and I mean hard, work?
While there’s no right or wrong answer, the way you think about money will determine how much of it you have.
Women see a bigger picture
Women don’t see each part of their life separately from all the other parts, we don’t compartmentalize in that way; everything draws from and contributes to everything else. Unlike men, we cannot think of only one thing at at a time. Men can actually think of zero things at a time, which is interesting in a completely different kind of way. And so it is with money. We view money as part of a whole, rather than as an isolated entity.
Men are linear thinkers, one thought in front of the next. Women are eclectic thinkers, many thoughts all at the same time. It’s free-association and random stream-of-consciousness. We solve every problem and approach every situation using data we draw from all the experiences we have ever had. We never separate the emotional from the cerebral from the physical. This is part of why we’re such gifted multitaskers.
Tracy Theemes
I would like to introduce you to a good friend of mine. Tracy works as an Investment Advisor for RBC Dominion Securities in Vancouver, BC. She specializes in understanding the differences in how men and women feel about money and advising women on financial planning and investment strategies. On the question of how men and women approach any situation, not only financial, the depth of her understanding is remarkable.
Tracy Theemes, MA
You can see her home page here http://www.tracytheemes.ca. As Tracy describes on this page, women want money to fit into their value system and intentions for themselves, their families, and for society as a whole. You will find on this page a woman who truly understands, loves, and respects how women see themselves and how we want to be treated.
I love these words from her home page : We tend to be society’s custodians of social order and values . This says something very powerful to me about the importance of our role as women in the world we want to live in, meaning that it is up to us to create it. The men don’t feel it, neither at a local (family) nor global (society) level.
Why I want money
Last summer, Tracy asked me to define exactly why I want money, because I do want it. She knows that like most women, I don’t want money to ‘get ahead’ or ‘buy more stuff’. I don’t care what I wear/what I drive/ what my house looks like. I don’t want possessions, I don’t care about them, and I don’t notice them when others have them.
I don’t see money as a status symbol or a power tool. It does not form part of my identity. I do want to educate my kids and have a secure future. I do want to travel. I do not want to be limited in my ability to expand who I am and what I can know or think about because I don’t have money. But that still didn’t feel like the real reason.
I thought for a long time and here’s what I’ve decided :
I want money because the day to day distraction of not having it keeps me too grounded and it interferes with my originality and my creativity.
My desire is to develop my ability to create value in the lives of others. To do that requires the time to think, to research the great things I want to tell you about, and to get the information to you. It takes money.
It feels good to finally know this about myself. It’s a type of self-discovery. Isn’t it surprising how hard it is to really know yourself?
Comments
5 Responses to “WHAT DOES MONEY MEAN TO YOU?”
Got something to say? I hope so.
Get daily makeup and colour updates. Join the 12 Blueprints Fan Club on Facebook! A Click on the box will take you there.
-
A Greener Tea
Web Maintenence by Rick Beckman
A timely article as my husband and I spent the weekend fighting about money. I get mad because I don’t like how he talks to me about money. He acts as the guard of the vault, deciding who gets how much. I feel our fights about money are really about power and control. Of course he disagrees with me and says our fights are because I can’t add and I over spend and that as long as we have debt (mortgage) have no business spending any money at all.
We have to come to a conclusion about this as we have the same fight, about the same issue, at the same time of each year.
But to the question – Why do I want money? I AM concerned about a nice house and a deck and I love to look at nice peices of art. Although my husband and I want for nothing, I find I am distracted by the incompleteness of my house. I want the money to finish the rooms/deck/garden, so that I can get on with other things. And then I feel very guilty for wanting, always wanting.
But what I want the most is to know we are secure both for now and the future (and our children’s education). Also money equates freedon to not work, to travel, to spend time together with loved ones, which is the ultimate goal.
THanks for the topic Christine.
Hi, Holly,
Thanks for your thoughtful and honest comment. Security and freedom are huge. The pressure to chase money all the time feels so restricting.
It was interesting how you described your feelings about “feeling distracted by the incompleteness of your house”. I think this is an area where men really have trouble understanding us. A woman I know told me just yesterday that she had used Feng Shui because “her home was not letting her connect to it” – that choice of words sticks with me.
When we almost lost our house 2 years ago, I realized how much this physical space I live in, dumpy as it is, supports me.
So there’s some soul-searching to be done here. Do you see any association between the house feeling incomplete and feeling that your own spirit is at a crossroads, or feels incomplete? I’m just wondering if there’s a deeper connection here – meaning, would your house ever be complete till your own journey feels more complete?
Thanks for giving me so much good stuff to think about.
C.
I think security is a state of mind. I don’t think it’s about how much you earn. Security means that you know you can cope with whatever life throws at you. You have a plan B, and maybe a C and a D. Life turns on a dime. There are no real guarantees so it is more calming for me to have a back-up plan than to have a lot of money. That said, I would not turn my nose up at cash if it came my way. That is because I am not crazy.
Okay ladies I have comments….
My husband and I have completely different views of money. I am a candidate for Tracy’s wisdom or, actually, being the person I am, I would venture to say at least my husband is
I am not concerned with how my house looks, at least I do not think I am. For instance I have what I still think of as colonial student furnishings. I have been married almost 20 years and have two children. Purchased only 1 new bed (for my son when he outgrew his crib)and that consists, in my house, of a boxspring and mattress (who would ever bother with headboard and baseboard as they would simply be something to bang my hip on as I make it.) The rest are second hand from other relatives as well as the bedroom furnishings. Same goes for every other room in my house. Technology we have. Big screen TV, computers, stereos, iPods… but can I wangle a new fridge out of the man? nope! and I am ok with that.
My objective, as far as money goes, has always been education and then retirement. If we are investing and saving it was to go to the children’s education first since I knew full well that they would never be able to get a student loan based on the salary my husband received.
Then we could save for retirement. Now therein lies the rub…I could never understand how we would deprive ourselves now of enjoying things so that we can be set when we are past 65. So we save now and go without to be able to scrimp and save our way through retirement because god knows we are no longer earning so we certainly can’t spend then. The comment was even made that “I am enjoying this microwave popcorn now since we won’t be able to afford it when I retire.” So we are not taking trips and doing things now to be able to retire, sort of, maybe,well?
I am not saying that I want for a lot. I have my gym membership and my dance class (these have not been taken from me yet although one was given as a Christmas gift to avoid having to buy me anything
I have one child in university and the other is in grade 11. What I hear constantly is “We can’t afford that, we have a daughter in university you know?” Nooooo? really? is what goes through my head….the child has practically paid her own way with scholarships and bursaries. Our education fund has a slight dent and that is what we had been saving for all along, isn’t it?
Perhaps it will never be enough saved in his mind…perhaps I am extravagant…god knows I do love shoes as does my daughter….genetics:) but I fear my husband and I will reach the impass sooner than later and I will be in my small one bedroom loft with a skylight in the bathroom and several cats.
Life is grand as long as there are no worries about money. Problem is, in my situation, I can not foresee a time when that will happen. Perhaps that would be my wish …for it not to be an issue.