THE PRICE OF HAPPINESS…AND OTHER MYTHS

December 6, 2007

Allow me to introduce one of my demons. I beat it down every day, though it doesn’t get very far any more. Now it’s just a joke to me.

It goes like this : If things are going too well, there will be a price to pay for it. There are various versions of this particular poison pill. Here’s another : Everything levels out so if one thing goes well for me, then another will go badly. Version 3 says : If things are going up for me, then they are going down for someone else.

Why can’t you have as much as you want of whatever you want? Why can’t we all be going up all the time?

Why we resist what we want

This is why : because we have been taught that there are limits on the good stuff ; because we have been taught not to be greedy ; because we have been taught to doubt whether we deserve it. We become superstitious.

If things are going well, do not utter a single word about it or it will come across as gloating and the streak will come to a crashing conclusion. And it will serve you right. Somewhere, we expect things to take a turn for the worse, and sure enough, they do.

We all know the rich friend whose child became ill or the perfect wife whose husband left. We see that and it just proves it. Do not want too much or you’re doomed to suffer. Ill luck will befall you. You’re playing with fire if you acquire too much good.

The only thing that works

There is one easy and effective way to leave all that foolishness behind. It works immediately and is so strong that you can feel all those issues above become irrelevant. This feels so much like a truth that you easily let it grow. It’s so simple.

When I tried it, the effect was so instantaneous that it struck me as a revelation. When some simple and very basic idea suddenly snaps, a whole cascade of things falls into place. You’re left wondering why you never got it before.

I am the same as you. This type of message has got to work fast for me to trust it. I write off most of this type of advice as spiritual in a way I can’t connect with. I am not that spiritual, believe me. But this was easy and fast.

Be grateful

Be so thankful, you have little room left for any other emotion. Close your eyes for one second and shut out the noise, and open up spaces inside to fill with gratitude for how good things are.

When you are this flooded with gratitude inside, your gaze is drawn inward and you notice a new but strong sense of calm. It’s there, isn’t it? You become aware of it right away. You just calm down.

In this place, it’s impossible to feel anger towards someone; you can try, but it’s grating and irritating, and you just want to return to that easier place. It’s not about deserving or worth any more. They are not part of the conversation.

I love it. I do it all the time now. You learn to turn it on in about 2 seconds and take yourself there. When you get doubtful and jittery, you just replace it with thankfulness and the calm comes back.

Did you eat today?

Don’t say you have nothing to be thankful for. If you live in North America, you have a lot to be thankful for. If you ate today and your home is heated, and you can’t find an ocean of thankfulness for it, you may be in need of a mental adjustment.

Don’t think about who you have less than. Don’t think about what you don’t have even though you tried to get it. The point is to move away from those bitter conversations you have in your head. If you were able to choose rage all the time or peace, would you really choose rage? Does it feel that good? At the end of the day, it’s exhausting and hardly appealing to others.

Yes, of course bad things are going to happen. And no, we will not feel thankful for them. We will ride them out. You do the best you can and that’s good enough.

As with everything, the more you practice, the better you’ll get. You just have to change what you’re used to ; soon, you won’t remember how it used to be. Start counting the good things; let it become a reflex, so easy that once you start, you just keep counting.

So, what is the price of happiness?

What the price is not is wealth or freedom from harm. It is to deeply, sincerely and actively appreciate and be thankful, with every fiber of your being. Make it so potent that you can touch it.

Give it a color and a texture. In my head, it is a light and shimmery fabric, in an ivory color. I can visualize it there anytime I want and it symbolizes contentment.

Suddenly, you understand the meaning of ‘enough’. Most people never know the satisfaction of understanding what that means. You can generously hope for good for others because it can not detract from your pleasure or success.

You’re not afraid that change in your life might bring unhappiness. The present feels like a safe place and you can look at your future full of comfort and hope.

(All photos linked to Stock Xchng source page.)

Posted by Christine Scaman | Filed Under Happiness 

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