THE BEAUTY BOOK THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

October 14, 2007

This is the second story that will introduce the series of articles on how to select skin care and makeup products that do what you expect them to. Most of the time, skin care products are like computers – they hardly ever do what you think they will. I want to talk to you about learning to have reasonable expectations of products, and how to find those that perform. For now, we revisit me 25 years ago, at university, at Dalhousie, in Halifax.

My anti-makeup boyfriend doesn’t get it…

My then-boyfriend, whom we’ll call Marc to protect the innocent, was one of those men who did not like women to wear makeup. Many men feel this way, of course, for many different reasons. Some think it’s a waste of money and time. There are those who like women to look ‘natural’. Perhaps this is a sensitive topic for me, but I think that what they really want is that their women look weaker rather than self-assured, and/or not too attractive to other men.

Most men are quite sincere in saying that they do not notice the difference, or that they love their wife/girlfriend equally with or without it. Well, of course, they do. If my husband only loved me with makeup, we would not be married. We don’t wear it to make our men love us more. Why women wear makeup is complicated and can’t be reduced to a one-sentence answer.

In any case, none of these was Marc’s issue. He just thought it looked silly. Marc’s previous girlfriends had been artists, women who did not wear makeup. I never met them so I don’t know if those women saw makeup as the crutch of weaker women, or if they just couldn’t be bothered with it. The possibility that I might be wearing too much of it would not have entered my mind.

…so he gives me a book to enlighten me

As a joke, Marc gave me a book entitled Blue Eyeshadow Should Be Illegal. He didn’t intend for me to read it, he just thought the title was catchy and partially articulated his belief that all eyeshadow should be illegal. I thought the book was brilliant. I read the whole thing carefully. It was just a paperback book, about the size of a Harlequin Romance novel but it was my first exposure to the idea that expensive makeup is not necessarily better than cheaper makeup. Sometimes it is better. Sometimes it just pays for inflated advertising budgets.

The book takes hold of my imagination

I tried all the exfoliating tips using ingredients found in your kitchen. I applied the oil-absorbing masks using inexpensive drugstore remedies. I learned a lot about how corporations wheel and deal to get us to buy product, and that was nothing compared to what it is today. The book also contained advice on makeup application that was subtle and flattering and I practiced all the designs and techniques while Marc drank Constant Comment Orange Spice tea and read books that made no sense to me (a follower of Kerouac and Ginsberg, he was).

A lifelong relationship begins

The author’s name was Paula Begoun. It would be 20 years before Paula’s work found its way into my life again. I needed a book to read on a train trip once and happened to be in a bookstore. I spotted a copy of Don’t Go To The Cosmetics Counter Without Me and recognized the author’s name. I read every word of that book, and of every edition since. Though I have never met her or spoken with her, I have come to know Paula on a first name basis.

You can still buy the book at Amazon.com. My copy had a different cover if I remember.

Marc and I parted ways, as you knew we would.

Posted by Christine Scaman | Filed Under Makeup, Paula's Choice, Skin Care

Comments

One Response to “THE BEAUTY BOOK THAT CHANGED MY LIFE”

gina topolniski on October 29th, 2007 10:27 am

Although I think that some men think that by telling us “Why are you doing that? You look far better without makeup,” that they are giving us the ultimate compliment what I think they fail to realize is that we really do not care that they think we look better without, we do not feel this way. The face we present to the public is the one we choose not the one they choose since it really is all about choice.
Because this gender has chosen, whether by social, cultural or a simple lack of product which, by the way, is changing with the EMO generation, not to wear make up does not mean that we have made the same choice.

Does it make us appear weaker? Hardly…look at Cleopatra, the ultimate user of Kohl eye pencil and one of history’s most powerful women.
Women are different from men (and how many times do we need to reiterate that one) and instead of again telling us what to do as in “You don’t need that!” simply leave it alone. Admire what you like and shut your mouth about the rest or as my mother would say, “If you can’t say something nice do not say anything at all.