Comments on: Peel The Cleaning Slave Label Off Your Forehead

By: May

May — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:29:26 +0000

It occurs to me that the women who do housework with “pride and honor” , as Karen says, are the ones who are stay at home mums. Perhaps the difference in attitude that she comments on is not related to faith in Christ, but rather to the simple fact that she is less tired. After all, she and women like her, are doing one job, not two.

By: Christine Scaman

Christine Scaman — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 01:01:44 +0000

Hi, everyone,

Thanks for the comments.

I agree, Karen, that looking after the house and family is an honorable profession. I choose to work part-time so I can do just that.

BUT…

I’m not going to insist that a certain standard be met, though no else plans to help me meet it

and I’m not going to push a vacuum around at 8PM while everyone else is relaxing just because I didn’t get to it earlier

The age of the kids is important. Mine are preteens and fully capable of looking after their stuff and helping out.

I think Linda’s right. The house my mother kept is nothing like mine. But marriage and family life are not the same now. My mother got more sleep. She got more time alone. She didn’t spend hours driving children to activities. And she spent more time alone with my father, while now children are almost always included (which is a good thing, I believe).

We all have been blessed with husbands who do help, some more than others. Mine does all the lawn care and vehicle maintenance, and I’m glad it’s him and not me. For years though, he spent Sunday asleep in his chair or watching sports because it was his day off, while I ran around doing housework. It took me years to stop that, sit down, and wise up that I should have a day off too, even though it was going to be me giving it to myself. I think it’s done the family a lot of good to see that “mother” isn’t automatically “cleaner, cooker, and general looker-after”. The mother’s need for space and time matters just as much as everyone else’s.

Again, thanks for the discussion!

By: Linda Comire

Linda Comire — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 21:54:24 +0000

How true!
Martyrdom seldom gets appreciated—(that is…if it’s even noticed), but the bad mood and feeling sorry for yourself that comes with it usually is. The worst part of it is that it’s SELF-IMPOSED! There’s no need for it, except to satisfy that perfectionist hiding your personality.
Maybe we’re still trying to live up to someone else’s standards (Mom, maybe?), but there’s no logical reason to do that…not if it lowers our quality of life, or that of the others sharing a home with us.
So…I’m going to try to keep these “words of wisdom” on the radar in the future, and hope other women can do that too.
Thanks for pointing out the obvious Christine. It is sometimes hard to see
Linda
PS> Love your website!

By: Sandra

Sandra — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 14:05:31 +0000

What a great article!!! Though I don’t have the kids to carpool and pick up after I have other things that fall into the same category…..and it is over. It has been a new focus of mine for this year and it is working….I needed this article to remind me to keep going ….it is an awesome feeling to say no and not feel guilty.

South Jersey great sunny day

By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 17:57:32 +0000

Peel the cleaning slave label off your forehead

I am blessed to be a stay-at-home mom and so most of the housework does fall upon my shoulders. Since I am at home with a 3 year old, I do take time to play and the house work will have to wait–babies don’t!

My husband is supportive and appreciative of my efforts in keeping the house pull together. He pulls his weight by keeping his things in place and doing the outside maintenance and works many hours so I can be home.

I am sorry to read of the anger and drugery of house work that at one time women accepted with pride and honor.

Perhaps my different attitude is because we believe in Jesus and refer to the Bible as a wonderful reference in finding joy in living and having a positive attitude about the least of these activities–housework.

It does get old—I am human and not immune to bad attitudes. But I do have a husband that appreciates my role and I appreciate his hard work. Perhaps there are others that share these attitudes too?

By: Heather

Heather — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 08:29:56 +0000

I agree – I don’t have enough time and, although my husband is very good (he is at home full-time with our toddler) he doesn’t have the same standards as me.
Over the years I’ve learned that most people don’t spot dust and an acceptable level of clutter. As long as the washing is clean and quickly put away (so it doesn’t have to be ironed or redone), and the kitchen and bathroom are hygienic, then the rest can slide.

Just like the saying about the old person looking back on their life & never saying ‘wish I had spent more time at the office’, none of us will regret going out with the kids & making great memories, rather than tidying the house!
All I have to do now is continuing re-education myself – thanks for being on the same wavelength!

By: maria meylan

maria meylan — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 05:44:28 +0000

Hello!

That was great reading…. and so wise!
Love this kind of reflections. So true. Now, DOING it….
Great stuff, Christine Scaman! Thanks.

(from Switzerland, early morning, rainy day…)

Best wishes.
maria