[ KEYWORD : GIVE ]

May 24, 2008

Thankful = Content

If you read the post on The Price of Happiness, and you tried it out a few times, you may have noticed the tranquility that is derived from being thankful. Maybe you were as surprised as I was by how quickly it happened.

As soon as you feel thankful, you automatically feel looked after and cared for. This knowledge brings you to a sensation of inward peace. I thought about this for awhile and wondered if I could turn the beam outside of my own body. There are people who radiate such a sense of serenity that they seem incredibly steady in their outlook on the world. Their power comes from their serenity and composure and I want to be the same way.

Gratitude < > Grace

Audrey Hepburn always comes to mind without getting into the saints. She was so secure in herself as a woman and it gave her that steadfast yet gentle humanity. I think this is a large part of where her elegance came from. She emanated an aura of balance, of a sound and peaceful mind within, that expanded outwards to touch every human being she came into contact with. It was not necessary to be physically near; it was there even in photographs and in the words she used.

She once said , ”As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others”. If I’d heard these words a year ago, I wouldn’t have appreciated their importance.

She was saying that there is an association between the two, that it is in helping others that you help yourself. I am interested in helping others and empowering myself in approximately equal measure, and if one can feed the other, then that’s even better.

Strength >> Giving

The strong know they’re strong, they don’t have to prove anything. Beginning from a position of strength, it’s easy to give because they cannot be shaken or reduced by giving. They know it only makes them stronger.

It is a circular thing so you can come at this from the other direction too. Begin by giving and you will find strength. Feel the plenty and abundance in your life that makes you capable of giving to another.

You : Less important

See what it feels like for just one day. Your whole outlook will change instantly. People will interact with you differently. You will be surprised at the strength of their reaction. I don’t think anyone noticed that I was behaving very differently but I sure did notice that people were responding differently.
All you need to give others is your sincere attention. Not time, not money. Think about ‘What is this person trying to say to me?’, and not ‘What will I say the minute they stop talking?’. Allow your position to be less important than theirs.

Think about ‘What can I say or do at this moment that will make their day better?’. Validate the things that matter to them by showing that they matter to you as well. Think about what they are really trying to communicate, search for the meaning beneath the words themselves. What question would they most like for you to ask?

Watch them light up a little when they reveal to you the fire that burns for them. Let them tell you how they found strength to overcome their struggles.

Shut yourself off and really listen. Women are the empathy specialists, this comes easily to us; we’ve perfected it over centuries just like DQ has perfected the dipped cone.

Give << Get back

Give inspiration and confidence to others generously with your sincere interest in what their lives are about. It will enrich your life and it will teach you. Let someone else feel a little better at the end of their day because they spent some time with you.

Let them talk; you will be amazed at what you will hear. You will connect with each person on a deeper level with insight into their passions and weaknesses, their struggles and how their solutions might help you in your life.

Practice giving freely, just for the pleasure of giving. You will find no weakness or vulnerability in yourself. Reflect on how you felt strengthened only by the act of giving, not by their gratitude, not by your relative plenty to their need.

Give so freely that there is no suggestion of indebtedness or inequality before or after. You will remember your kindness with deep satisfaction in the choice you made and a new feeling of control in your own life. You will not regret it. You will wonder why you didn’t see sooner what it gave back to you.