RSSEMPOWERED MEANS OVER MYSELF
May 6, 2008
We talk about being empowered women. Just what are we empowered over?
We talk about the fact that others treat us as we have taught them to. We talk about deciding our future instead of letting it happen to us. It sounds like the idea is to learn to have power over others. But that’s not it at all.
Linked to source.
INsight
It feels like empowered should mean control and influence over something – I should have power to not be pushed around, to not be taken advantage of, to be taken seriously , and so on.
The person or thing that I need to get empowered over is me. It’s me I’m trying to move ahead of. It’s that woman right behind me, that I used to be, that’s still telling me I can’t do it, that I need to ignore . It’s her that needs to eat my dust, not anyone else.
And it’s YOU that you are trying to find power over. To learn to behave in such a way that others don’t walk all over you; to see what it is about you that’s holding back your dreams, to attract the behavior your want from those around you and to bring the events you want in your life… the authority to achieve these things is over your own thoughts.
The power that weakens
Strength gains are not made by achieving dominance over anyone else. That just leads to self-satisfaction and an inward focus about how we’re perceived, which is essentially the outlook teenagers have. Preoccupation with how others see them is the lifestage they’re moving through, but a time comes to leave it behind.
It’s important to teach this to our children, maybe especially our daughters. We want them to be strong women, empowered women, but it’s the power they have to control their own thoughts and actions that will shape their lives. Their apparent command over others, if it exists without personal responsibility, is immaterial and will be their weakness.
How everyone else behaves is irrelevant, or at least is not the focus. It will fall into place once they become the person they want to be. Controlling external forces won’t work. The thinking has to shift internally. Controlling the internal force of your character is possible and ultimately effective.
Observation and vigilance
As soon as we can control our own thoughts and actions, instead of just letting them roll into our heads and out of our mouths however they want, changes begin to find us. Maybe empowered is not a good word at all. Attentiveness to what’s in our heads, as opposed to thoughtlessness, might be better.
It begins with awareness about who we are now.
Followed by consciousness of who we want to become and what we’d like to have happen to us.
Then comes the day-to-day practice of imposing the right thinking when our minds go down wrong paths. With right thinking then come right actions. With right thinking also comes change in other people and what events shape our lives, but the source is entirely our own thoughts.
The end result might be a change in how others behave or the events and opportunities that come our way, but all that is secondary to finding power to be who we want to be.
This feels like a big step forward. At least, it’s now very clear where the competition is and who it is I’m really up against.
Comments
3 Responses to “EMPOWERED MEANS OVER MYSELF”
Got something to say? I hope so.
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A Greener Tea
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Wow……this is a wonderful and inspiring piece Christine. I’m going to have my 3 girls read this. Actually, I would love to send it to James too. He would love this artical. Nat
Good piece. It is true, my biggest obstacle is often myself. My own inner voice that tells me negative things, or tries to defeat me. I am aware of it and try to suppress it, but not always successfully.
I think I fight with myself way more than I interact with anyone else.
Hi, women,
It never ceases to amaze me what insightful comments you always leave. Nat has blown me away in the past. And Holly’s comment here about fighting with myself more than interacting with anyone else … so absolutely true.
What is this thing about us? Men don’t do it. Why in the world do we? Anyone know?