RSSChallenge : Do Something For You Today
October 4, 2008
Women are experts at finding reasons for not looking after their general well-being in the way they would like to. We know that how we look or feel is disrupting our confidence, but we’ve invented reasons for not caring.
That doesn’t mean you have to hair your hair done every six weeks, or ever, if you don’t feel like it. You don’t have to lose a pound. You never need to meet someone else’s standard for how you’re supposed to look.
But if you look at yourself in the morning and think “Ugh”, or try to avoid mirrors wherever you go, maybe you can find yourself in the list below. If your hair is gone to frizz, highlights grown out, eyebrows are out of shape, but if you harbor ideas that …
- If I look great, I have to act different.
- I might lose control of my appearance if I let a stylist or esthetician near me.
- I might look like a clown.
- I’m not really worth it; I’m the Mom, I don’t deserve $100 hair color.
- I don’t want to draw attention to myself, or be noticed, or be fussed over, because then what would I do?
- Who really cares, who’d see me anyway?
- Beautifully shaped eyebrows are not in keeping with the role I play; focusing on my job and eyebrows together feels conflicting
- If I look different, I might send out a message that I’m not comfortable with; I don’t want to look self-absorbed or vain or (heaven forbid) hot
- I just don’t have time; the family needs me
… then, you’re holding yourself back for the wrong reason. Nobody weakens us better than we weaken ourselves (another thing we’re experts at). We women belittle and disparage ourselves every chance we get. It’s time to stop.
Not trying feels safe. Nothing bad can happen, there can be nothing to regret if you don’t try. The thing is, safety is overrated. So is shelter from your own imagination. Regret is overrated too. Why do so many people spend so much time there? Buy a beautiful journal and write.
Give yourself some credit. You deserve every ounce of it. Recognize the importance of your contribution by doing something for you. It doesn’t have to do with your looks. Get a reflexology treatment.
Acknowledge your worth with some money and some time. And decide beforehand that you’re not going say “I don’t know if I can do this” or any sentence beginning with “What if”, or worst of all, make up an excuse to cancel the appointment. You deserve better from yourself.
Lock up your useless inhibitions. Buy a nail polish. Better yet, get a pedicure. Your feet won’t look like they’re yours, but you can always go into stealth mode and hide them in socks till you get used to it.
Do what you think about. Cut off the ends of grown out hair. Get your old highlights covered and go back to a natural color. Spend sometime with yourself. And when someone says “Much better”, say “Thank you!”.
Comments
3 Responses to “Challenge : Do Something For You Today”
Got something to say? I hope so.
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A Greener Tea
Web Maintenence by Rick Beckman
Thank you for speaking these words! So many times women forget their own unique selves and forget that caring for themselves is the best investiment of the seemingly ever shrinking time available. Carve it out for yourself because no one is going to give it to you and it’s a habit that will benefit you always! Also, try to resist the standards out there in the world. No one measures up to you and you don’t need to set goals to be anyone other than yourself. It’s ok to say “No.” As a jewelry designer on a very small budget, I’ve learned that all that sparkles is not silver or gold. I’ve learned to appreciate materials and resources and designing in my own space. No two pieces are ever alike and what I find is that so many women enjoy and appreciate my creations because they are made with a passion and love. As a photographer, I used to take photos that were the “norm” or industry “standard” but didn’t really like them very much. They were beautiful and correctly posed and lit but not what my vision was for the shot. Now I shoot what I see and because my heart and soul are dedicated to that vision, I find people respond to the visual messages I produce. So thank you for writing what we all know inside but box in and keep under lock and key so it won’t escape! There is no better person to be than yourself so take care of you first!
Hi,
Great comments for a Monday morning. Eventhough I know all that you said is true, and I repeat such comments to so many of my girlfriends, I still have trouble getting things for me - whether it is related to hair, nails or necessary clothes. I remember being outside on a snowy day and realizing my children were all warm and cozy in their snow suits and I was in a pair of jeans and my husband’s cast off jacket. I hadn’t put myself on the list of people in the family who need winter outside gear.
Interestingly enough, I seem to rely on my husband to “Treat” me - like it is his responsibility to make sure I am cared for. (Yes I know that has many layers to analyze). I oftern feel I need his approval for purchases for myself - yet I completely run the household in every other aspect.
Why is it that many woman have trouble giving to themselves?
Thanks C for the article.
Janice and Holly,
Both of you make the point that you have to take care of yourself and feed your own happiness because they won’t be given to you. I think that’s the step that women stumble over.
Our lives are so dedicated and dictated by looking after everyone else that the natural and fair assumption is that the care will be returned.
Eventually we learn that it will not. After being the No. 1 Waitress for 10 years or so, we finally figure it out.
And then, we go do something for ourselves, find that not only does nobody begrudge it but they don’t even notice or care, and still we feel guilty and take 2 months to build up to the next one.
Passion, not only for what we do, but also for who we are, paves the way.