Book Review : The Art Of Possibility

November 3, 2008

There are many formulas for success. The one that’s chasing me lately is that success is tightly wrapped with finding the best in others, or, more exactly, letting them see their greatness for themselves. The idea is not new, but lately it’s everywhere I look. It’s so obvious that you feel like you’ve known it all along. This book, The Art of Possibility : Transforming Professional and Personal Life, is where I saw it first.

Ben

You will love Ben Zander. He overflows happiness. He reaches the better part of me the moment he begins speaking. For his great balance of tremendous skill, humility and wonder, Ben Zander is a human being that I adore.

Ben is a classical musician and conductor of the Boston Philarmonic Orchestra. His profound ability to awaken possibility in others has touched so many so deeply.

Sing along

Ben is generous and giving of himself emotionally, mentally, and physically. With movements that are expressive, and sometimes very big and fast, he captures your imagination about this potential you didn’t know you had. He’s had a roomful of hard-edged businessmen on their feet singing Ode To Joy. Strangely enough, he’s English, not a group often associated with effusive physical display.

Watch him on TED. Tell me your eyes don’t well up, tell me he doesn’t move you when he speaks. Here he’s overjoyed and you’re crying.

When you listen to him, it all seems so clear and easy. You wonder that you didn’t think of it before. I used to think music was a random emotional outpouring. Through him, I could see that it’s systematic almost to the point of being mathematical. You leave thinking how smart you are, not how dumb. He brings the masses to his subject and demystifies it.

YouTube him.

It dawned on Ben one day, that of the 600 musicians on the stage, the only one to make no sound is the conductor. He is not there to control his musicians, but to develop this tremendous skill that they walk with. He saw that it was his job is to make others shine. He sees himself as a facilitator or a conduit for the talent of others.

Ben flashes your musical ability, your enormous worth, your unique contribution back at you like a strobe till you feel like the undeniable creative genius that you, that we all, are. We can do this much for others everyday.

On his role as a teacher and our job to make a contribution, uploaded by kakujun.

Are you a facilitator or a show-off? As an educator, there are ample opportunities to make students feel small if you compare their knowledge to yours. Your choice is to let others celebrate their untapped promise.

Roz

Rosamund Stone Zander, Ben’s partner, has a behind-the-scenes presence, though hugely accomplished in her own right. She is a coach, a child and family therapist, and an expert in developing creativity and leadership programs for government and corporate groups.

She is also a landscape painter – and go look at these because they are impressive.

Ben and Roz Zander.

There is a fascinating article, but a long one, in Psychotherapy Networker .

When their marriage ended, the Zanders recognized that a human partnership can take many forms and need not end completely just because one aspect has ended. In fact, The Art Of Possibility originated with Roz and from the creative and business partnership she found with Ben when the marriage dissolved.

The interview with Ben and Roz at the end of the article is very in depth, but rewarding. Roz’s description of the difference between a Positive Thinker and a Possibility Thinker sticks with me. When Ben speaks of his transformation from a man focused on personal gains and success to the great humanitarian he has become, I am forced to re-evaluate the things I strive for.

In 2000, Ben and Roz collaborated on this book, whose byline is “Transforming Professional and Personal Life”. This was the first “character development” book that I read till the end. Books that tell me that all-you-need-is-love or that the-answer-resides-within-you don’t do it for me. It has to be grounded and practical, or it sure did back then. I’ve relaxed a little since (but not much).

Her great genius is in creating new ways of thinking about relationships. Like Ben, she is dedicated to living a life filled with possibility.

Roz illustrates with a brilliant analogy of falling out of a boat in a whitewater river. You can’t think your way back in using any data you already have. Nothing you know so far can help you find that boat in the roiling water. As frightening as it seems, creativity by desperation is liberating because you have to pull things out of yourself that could well have stayed buried. Feel-the–fear-do-it-anyway situations can be very much like this. All your usual guides are gone. The starting point is already an unfamiliar place and the further you go, the stranger it gets. The reward is that you get to someplace brand new.

Is your giving house in order?

The Zanders weave life experiences, musical metaphors, personal stories, and psychology into a beautiful web. Both are masterminds at viewing situations and relationships from new perspectives.

Here is what makes this book different : The Art Of Possibility is about personal empowerment found by shining your light outwards. In showing another person their great worth in a genuine way, your own light shines brighter and brighter. You are a blessing in the lives of others. Projecting your unique gifts into the thoughts and lives of the people you interact with gets your mind off YOUR stress, and YOUR goals, and YOUR dreams, yet somehow reveals your own answers in the process.

Instead of always striving for your own accomplishment, help someone else find theirs. You will absolutely change the course of your own existence. It’s so easy to do, and also so easy to forget to do it. It takes no time and no real effort, just attention to how you want to handle a dialogue before it begins. Decide to find the other person’s best self, not your own, and do it with everyone you meet.

What you give matters too. Giving away your money and time are not the point here, though they help you find success in a different way. Becoming generous with your tolerance, kindness, indulgence, interest, support, and enthusiasm for another person’s passion and peace of mind is the message. These will be returned to you in kind.

A great review, more about the book than the people, by Garr Reynolds can be found here, at the great blog Presentation Zen.

Posted by Christine Scaman | Filed Under Happiness