RSSANTI-AGING STRATEGY : DO WHAT YOU LOVE
October 13, 2007
Accept no compromise
If you are exchanging the minutes of your precious life for something, be certain that it brings you joy and contentment. The days may seem to drag on forever but the years are rushing past. Very soon, our time here will be done. It is easier in some ways to drift along, to allow circumstances to shape your life while you get through the day and finally get to lie in bed with your book, but it could be so much more than this. You could one day look back and know that you tried, that you shaped your life and that opportunities were given to you each day because you chose to take a little control.
This is not about success or failure, it’s about traveling on your own voyage and gathering accomplishments, finding deeper understanding of your life by changing and learning and growing. You can discover amazing truths about your strengths and abilities by reflecting on the restraints that bind you, on the height of the ceiling above your head, on the freedom you could know and the space your spirit could occupy if you could unlock those chains. What holds you back? What are you dragging around? What do you have to finish to move forward?
Fear of failure
Many women, all of us at some time of our lives, do not fill their days with the knowledge that they are living their dreams. There are times when we all feel trapped and see no possibility for change. This is not from laziness or self-pity, and nor is it that we feel the world is not looking after us as it should. This is not from a feeling that we don’t deserve complete happiness or from a superstition that a price will have to be paid if we are to live the life we dream of having.
I believe that most often, it stems from a fear of the unknown. At least where you are is known and comfortable in its own way. There is safety in the familiar. With no challenge, there is less chance of failure. The person who succeeds at everything is the one that is not trying anything new.
Not only does change involve risk, it also demands enormous responsibility to accept full accountability for your own happiness … since it requires admitting that you are also responsible for your own unhappiness, that you do this to yourself. Once you can fully acknowledge that your life is at a standstill because you give permission for it to be so, there is only a very small step needed to realize that by your consent, you could be actively leading a life where every waking moment is joyful because it is under your control. Even your utmost effort is offered willingly, because you are rewarded with the greatest incentive of all, that every particle of your being is fully engaged in what you deeply love.
You may have a suspicion that if you change, so will your relationships with those around you. You are entirely correct. If those who surround you are unable or unwilling to adapt as they see your strength and happiness grow, it may be time to change the scenery. Never allow the insecurities of others to interfere with your vision. It is not your job to indulge anyone’s weaknesses, to place limits on yourself so that someone else feels more secure, and you are most certainly not responsible for anyone’s happiness except yours.
Perhaps you love your life just as it is. You may feel that the direction your life is taking, whether with your conscious guidance or not, is perfect and could not be improved upon. That’s excellent because you have accomplished what the rest of us strive for. I am restless. I look around. I want to know more and contribute more and have more. The fun is in the trying.
Though I feel incredibly fortunate because I see my goals so clearly I can touch them, I don’t expect every small step to take me to my endpoint in one easy move. I don’t even care if it does. The idea is just to move a little closer by doing something that seems more consistent with your dream’s essence than what you’re doing now. The goals I see for myself today might change and I don’t care about that either. What I perceive as my target today is really only a guide to help me find a direction in which to move.
What is your gift to give?
What do you see yourself doing in your daydreams? Dream of what you can give, not what you can take. Don’t dream of lying on a beach for the rest of your life while others serve you.
It’s unlikely you dream of something at which you have no aptitude. Perhaps you feel bound by the routine stuff, the money, the kids, not rocking the family boat. The routine stuff will still be there to some extent. Someone still needs to get supper on the table. Dealing with routine doesn’t have to be mundane or tedious. Don’t just vacuum or chop celery. Allow your head to be transported into your imaginings, that place where you are doing what you can lose yourself in.
When the future is uncertain, it is indeed frightening. You must learn to trust forces that you barely understand. You can see small steps which feel empowering by just visualizing them but they are often illogical or unreasonable. They seem too far removed from what occupies your days. You need to take a leap of faith knowing that everything will be looked after. You need to be open to the improbable, to welcome it, because this is how obstacles will vaporize. You do not need to have all the problems figured out ahead of time. Those problems might never arise. Others might but you’ll manage them.
Jump in. The water’s fine.
Life makes you a deal : fully let go first, then you get to move forward. You must release yourself from the trap you feel you are in before even a twinkling of guidance will be revealed to you. All you need to know is that it will be revealed. You can relax, there is no doubt about this. Even if you’re not open to the opportunity when it is shown to you, it will still arrive and you can do nothing to stop it. The future remains veiled until you clearly announce that you are ready to make changes (by making yourself fully free to embrace it), but the tools to strengthen and move forward will never be withheld.
You are not anchored to your past. If you need to sell it, even at a loss, in order to move on, then do so. The price you’re paying to hang onto it is higher than any dollar bills you can lose. It’s never been a waste. It is what brought you here today and gave you the strength to walk away and close a door.
Enjoy feeling content and liberated while you await the next step. It may be a long time since you felt such freedom. You feel so much more open to possibility. You can let go of worrying about HOW it will work out. It doesn’t matter how. There are thousands of ways in which anything can come about. What’s the point in thinking about all of them? All you need to do is commit to celebrating every moment of your life by taking one small step closer to your dreams.
Risk of change does not outweigh the benefit.
Risk of not changing does outweigh the benefit.
Is there risk in letting the years just pass by ? Is there a risk in taking no risk, ever? Absolutely, and it is enormous, because there is NO benefit to balance it. By taking no chance, you will probably never know anything you don’t already know, you will probably not become anything that you are not already. I couldn’t live with that gamble. The high probability of that coming true is a very real threat I cannot accept. Value every moment you’ve been given because once it has passed, you will never get it back to live it better.
Anger, resentment, guilt, and intimidation will dissolve in your unwavering and tranquil certainty that you care for yourself by following your true passion, as all people should. You mean no harm, you support the needs of every human being but they do not take precedence over your own. Those around you will become calm and become more peaceful as well because you will be sending one clear constant signal.
Find your shining beacon, your guiding light. Don’t allow your dreams to remain simply the background music of your life. Move them into the foreground and let every other thing fade to the back.
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