RSS12 REBEL WAYS TO BE THE SAME SIZE ON JANUARY 1
December 9, 2007
To avoid digging in the closet for your fat (and then, fatter) pants, decide to be a ground-breaker. Revolutionize certain traditions, in the name of not changing sizes twice in December. Shatter a few sensibilities.
Quality time with friends
12 ways to show everyone your younger side:
1. Become known for bringing the vegetable platter. Get famous for it, so when the to-bring list is being made up, you are automatically put down for the veggie tray. Cut the vegetables up in bulk so you can put a platter together in a minute. Forget about dip. Move boldly onto new ground here and just do not make it.
2. Guests will survive if you’re not with them every moment. They’d probably like the house to themselves for awhile. You’d probably like your head to yourself for awhile. Think of them as free babysitters and use them. They’ll probably even bring wine!! Turf them out if they don’t.
3. Always help in the kitchen. It’s hard to push food into your mouth with a knife in one hand and raw chicken juice on the other. People gravitate into the kitchen (or is that just a Maritime thing because it’s the only room with heat?), so you can visit there.
4. Walk more. Take an elastic strap with you to do some upper body work on the trees and telephone poles. Yes, OK, you’ll be the only person in town doing this. Soon, drivers will wave to you. You will be amazed what movement variety you can accomplish with tubes. Have a look around at Collage, type “elastic tube” in the keyword box, preview a few videos.
Take your workout for a walk.
5. Reconsider the whole notion of Christmas Baking. Nobody needs it or wants it, or expects it. Really, do you?
6. Let there be no rule about how much tea, coffee, or diet pop you’re allowed to have. Look, some policies are going to have to give to get through this. I find that if I drink enough of it, it slightly upsets my stomach so that I don’t want to eat (if you can’t have fun with your own body, whose can you have fun with?). Bring your own can of Matcha tea; it’s quite the conversation piece.
7. Give young children stability balls as gifts. They love them. Get all different sizes and colors. Make sure they’re anti-burst. This way, there’s a ball in every house you visit. Balance on one while holding your cup of hot apple cider and tell me it’s not an ab workout.
8. Do drop in classes at the local gym in the town you’re visiting. Go with a friend or get a break from it all and go on your own. See what classes are like in another town. Go to a gym near a mall, and let everyone shop for an hour while you work out. Shower only if you feel it’s really necessary, maybe from the neck down. Meet them for coffee after. Celebrate by trying on jeans. So your hair and makeup are a little off. You’re the only one who cares. Everyone else is envious of your resolve.
A mall in Budapest, Hungary.
9. DVDs and tension bands are your friends. They fit in any suitcase. If people don’t have a DVD player, play them on a computer. Even if you use them once, it was still worth it. Bring your CD player and impress everyone with the cool music you listen to. They’ll think you’ve lost 15 years.
10. Hang out with the kids. They don’t eat constantly, they move constantly!! Burn a CD and dance with them. Bring a craft and do it with them. Become known as the aunt who brings her own glue gun. (also her own Sencha Tea and anti-cancer variety of red wine ; buy a nifty laptop case to carry it all around it and look cool). Get 5 kids in and out of snowsuits and mittens and boots and tell me if you’re not sweating. You really can do squats anywhere.
11. Never bring gifts of food. This will provide a conversational opening where you can diplomatically, loudly, and repeatedly state that you do not like to receive food gifts. Then sit back and watch how many people still bring you food gifts. At least, you tried.
12. Let your kids pick out your outfits. I talk about children a lot, don’t I? I think their creativity is boundless. Why we always think we know better is beyond me. I think their tastes are expressive, even they do like plaids and dots together; it always works, in a Christian Lacroix sort of way. Have them advise on a colored eyeliner and some funky bracelets. I know you’re picturing an Avril Lavigne getup, but kids won’t put you in that because they know it doesn’t suit you. You’re more likely to sit politely and stuff your face in black velvet or sparkly plaid than in cool jeans and fun makeup.
Three angels dancing (not sitting on the couch).
But, you know, do you want to turn 80 and look back and say “Oh, thank heavens, I didn’t eat any of the wonderful food at Christmas time” ? Of course not.
Eat anything you want as long as every mouthful tastes wonderful. The instant you are just packing it in but too distracted to notice the taste, you stop.
Try to keep some kind of controlled eating and daily movement in place till the 24th. After that, well… it will be fiber and water for 2 weeks, but worth the memories. You can’t do much harm in a week. You can certainly set yourself back in a month.
(All photos linked to Stock Xchng source page).
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